The Rise of the Medical Emergency
Isn't death always a medical emergency?
Well, here I go again, almost crashing my browser again from opening too many news tabs. "Medical emergency" is the new "died suddenly." It's the new thing.
I’ve been noticing more and more the rise of this term. I can see the utility in such an abstracted term as “medical emergency.” Sometimes you simply don’t know what happened. Sometimes you know and you decide it’s best not everyone in the world knows. That’s the nature of some medical issues.
As far as I can tell, though, the use of this term has exploded since the shots rolled out. I don’t really know how to verify that for sure, so I’m going with it for now.
I did an in-depth research dive into this topic by typing the words “medical emergency” into Google’s search engine and sorting by News and by date. Then I read the headlines for two days of reports.
I decided to stop at two days of reports — from May 13 - May 15 — because my row of open tabs was getting too long. I’m not trying to crash my browser. Or work too hard.
Enjoy the smorgasbord of death, injury, accident, and adjacent injury brought to us by this sudden rise of “medical emergencies.”
1) Charlotte paramedic died on duty after suffering medical emergency, MEDIC says
"Officials said Mark Hayes was on duty Saturday when he suffered the emergency."
"He suffered the emergency." I mean...
2) Algonquin police attempt to identify jogger who had medical emergency
Source: Daily Herald
Police and a fire truck intervened when “a jogger was experiencing a medical emergency on the sidewalk, according to the release.”
He had one too. A what? A medical emergency. You know.
3) Kentucky state Rep. Lamin Swann dies days after suffering 'medical emergency'
Source: Fox News
"A 45-year-old Kentucky state House Democrat has died just days after his mother said he suffered a "significant medical emergency.""
It sounds fairly significant, doesn’t it?
4) Upstate student airlifted to hospital after medical emergency
"The Oconee County School District says a student at Keowee Elementary had a medical emergency while on the bus en route to the school, Monday morning."
Even kids can fall victim to the affliction. Elementary school children.
5) Aberdeen-bound flight declares mid-air 'medical emergency' over North Sea
Source: Aberdeen Live
"An inbound flight to Aberdeen declared a mid-air emergency over the North Sea after a passenger suffered from health issues."
“It has since emerged that a medical emergency had been declared onboard.”
Glad they clarified that.
6) Teenage swimmer dies after medical emergency at swim meet
Source: Hawaii News Now
"A 17-year-old died after suffering a medical emergency during a swimming meet in Kapolei on Saturday."
Well, nothing funny here.
7) New Jersey school bus missing for over an hour after driver suffers medical emergency
Source: The Global Herald
“A New Jersey elementary school bus holding around 20 students went missing for an hour after the 80-year-old driver suffered a medical emergency.”
80 year-old’s suffer from the affliction.
8) Medical emergency triggers multi-car crash in Lithonia, police say
Source: Fox5 Atlanta
"At least three people were sent to the hospital after a major crash involving five vehicles in Lithonia, according to officials."
"Through a preliminary investigation, police discovered the accident was triggered by one driver suffering a minor medical emergency on the road. That driver was taken to a nearby hospital for evaluation."
Medical emergencies can have a butterfly effect.
9) And the coup de grace: a reality TV something.
Mama June Shannon recovers from a medical emergency [on] latest Mama June: Family Crisis episode"
Source: Daily Mail
"The episode began with Shannon recovering from an unexplained medical crisis at a hospital in Alabama alongside her husband, Justin Stroud."
How bizarre they don’t say what happened to her. Oh, wait —one caption reads: “On the mend: Mama June was later diagnosed with partial complex seizures and instructed to continue her recovery at home.”
Oh. Partial complex seizures.
Well, that’s a relief.